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The #1 Guide to Sex Lube


Guide by Mia Hart

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Portrait of Mia from Blissful Cherry

Guide by Mia Hart from  BLISSFULCHERRY

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Sex lube collection

When it comes to any sex-related activity, all women know that it is important for them to be “wet”.

It helps to ensure that they feel good.

In fact, any sort of vaginal penetration without lubrication needs some form of lubrication to be even remotely effective.

No matter if they are being penetrated by a man, or a sex toy.

However, when it comes to sex toys, the concept of being “wet” is highly associated with using lube.

Let’s first start by explain why lube is so commonly used with sex toys.

And then get into everything else you need to know to successfully incorporate lube with your sex toys.

Why You (Often) Need Lube

Before we explain why manual lubrication is often required, let’s discuss the other form of lubrication that women know and love: natural lubrication.

This lubrication is made by the women to not only allow safe insertion of a man’s penis, but also to make the sex pleasurable by reducing the friction between the penis and the vaginal walls.

However, natural lubrication is a process that not only takes time, but also takes a natural progression of arousal.

In typical sexual encounters, this is typically achieved through the advent of foreplay.

Given even just a few minutes of intimate foreplay with your partner, your vagina will typically be fully lubricated and ready for penetration.

But with sex toys, the situation is a little bit different.

Compared to a male partner who physically needs to get aroused enough to maintain a solid erection for insertion, sex toys don’t require this waiting period.

While not a bad thing for a woman, this can lead to situations where she is not fully lubricated yet.

Even if you are mentally “horny”, physically you may not be ready to have vaginal penetration.

In this case, inserting your sex toy will often be uncomfortable, if not downright painful (It definitely won’t fee pleasurable).

Not only that, but in most sexual encounters with a real partner, you can get naturally lubricated through the use of foreplay.

But with sex toys, you don’t have that option. This leaves you with very little options to naturally get yourself lubrication.

For most women, the only way to get in the right physical state for vaginal penetration is to focus on clitoris stimulation.

At least to start things off.

But that still takes time.

This dilemma is why lube is often necessary – to physically prepare you for vaginal penetration.

Quickly and effortlessly.

Sex lube is a big help for sexual pleasure
Lube gets you ready for penetration quickly and effortlessly.

Lube is perfectly normal

If you’ve never used lube before, rest assured that it is perfectly normal to use in a recreational setting.

While there is sometimes a stigma about lube only being used by people who suffer from “vaginal dryness”, lubrication can be used by anyone and everyone.

Even by men for when they use toys like anal beads.

So if you are ever feeling subconscious about using lube to enhance your sex life, don’t be!

You should instead be happy knowing that lube will help you reach your fullest sexual pleasure.

Different Types of Lube

Lube comes in all sorts of different materials, each with their own pros and cons.

The most common three are the following:

  • Water-based lube

  • Silicone-based lube

  • Oil-based lube

Here is a quick rundown of all three of these common lubes.

Water-Based Lube

No matter sexual activity you partake in, water-based lube will be effective.

In terms of sex toys, this means that water-based lube is compatible with any and all sex toy materials.

And even safe to use with all types of condoms.

Water-based lube pouring out of bottle with white background
Water-based lube is compatible with all sexual activities, and very easy to clean.

Another great benefit is that they wash out fairly easily, making cleaning after you finish getting yourself off a breeze!

This is the most versatile lube on the market, and should be your go-to choice in most cases.

(Keep reading to see how the other types of lube may be better for you personally though).

Silicone-Based Lube

This is the ideal lube to use if you have highly-sensitive skin.

The reason being is that silicone is hypoallergenic.

Meaning you won’t experience any sort of reaction with the lube on your skin.

Silicone-based lube also typically lasts longer than water-based lube, which means you won’t have to reapply lube quite as often.

However, there is one major downside with using this lube…

… They are incompatible with silicone toys.

If your silicone toys come into contact with silicone-based lube, the surface of the sex may deteriorate over time.

Clear bottle of silicone-based lube with white background
Silicone-based lube lasts longer than water-based lube, but can damage your silicone sex toys over time.

Not only does this mean your toy is no longer as smooth and beautiful as it once was, but it also means it is less sanitary.

Any irregularity in the surface of your sex toy allows bacteria to more easily form there.

So even though silicone toys are the safest and best toys out there, if you use silicone-lube with them, all bets are off.

And you very likely will end up with not only a damaged toy, but an unsanitary one as well.

This is the only thing that needs to be considered with silicone-based lube however.

You can definitely use it with any other sex toys or in general, as it is still a very high-quality lube.

Just keep a water-based lube as well for your silicone toys and you should be golden.

Oil-Based Lube

If you want to reapply lube even less often than with silicone-based lube, then oil-based lube is your answer.

They last much longer than any other lube out there.

In most cases, just a single application of oil-based lube will last your entire sex or masturbation session.

And they are perfectly safe with most sex toys.

However, these lubes are often associated with higher rates of infections.

And they are not fun to clean whatsoever.

They take a long time to fully wash off of your skin and sex toys.

And oil-based lubes also are very likely to stain your bed sheets and any clothing as well, only making things messier in the end.

Bottle of oil-based lube
Oil-based lubes last a very long time, but come at the cost of higher rates of infection, and the potential to stain your bed sheets and clothing.


Note that the above list is just the main lubrications out there.

There are lubes like hybrid lubes that combine elements of multiple lubes.

As well as “natural” lubes that use natural ingredients.

In any case, of the above three lubes listed, we only recommend using water-based and silicone-based lubes.

Oil-based lubes may be useful for the actual application, but in practice, they end up causing more risk and headache than they are worth.

So stick to using water-based or silicone-based lube for your sex toy adventures.

In fact, you should own both to cover a wide range of applications.

Some final thoughts on selecting your Lube

Despite most lubes being made with your health in mind, there are some lubes that don’t fit this mold.

Especially novelty lubes.

If you see things like “warming” or “tingling” lubes, we suggest avoiding them completely.

Not just because they aren’t necessary to having a good time, but because they can be unhealthy for you as well.

Teal bottle of lube with big red X and zoom in of the word Tingle
If you see a lube that uses words like "tingling" or "warming", avoid them as much as possible.

Your vagina is meant to maintain a certain pH, and many of these novelty lubes are at an entirely different pH level.

At the very least, if you do want to try these exotic lubes, be ready to stop using them if your vagina reacts negatively to them.

This means anything like vaginal irritation or worse, inflammation.

And this applies to any lube, even if they are an approved water-based lube for example.

Every woman’s body is different as is every lube, so even two water-based lubes may cause your body to react differently.

So regardless of what lube you use, observe how your body reacts and make a change if something doesn’t feel right to you.

And once you find a lube that works, stick with it!

How to apply lube

Now that you know what type of lubes there are, all that’s left is knowing how to apply them.

Note that regardless of which type of lube you are using, it is more or less applied the same way.

In typical sexual interactions, lube is applied directly to the man’s penis, or on occasion to the woman’s vagina or anus.

Your application of lube when using sex toys is similar, either by applying lube directly to the sex toy itself, or alternatively applying it directly to your body.

Applying Lube to your Sex Toys Directly

In this case, it is best to apply an even layer of lube, on the entire surface of the sex toy.

This will ensure that you are fully covered for a smooth and pleasurable insertion of your sex toy into your choice of orifice.

In addition, if you lather the lube with your fingers directly, it will help to warm up the lube up before coming into contact with your sensitive private parts.

This helps make the initial insertion into your body much more pleasurable.

Close up of hand with some sex lube on the fingertips
Applying sex lube onto your sex toys via your hands will help warm up the lube before contact with your private parts.

Applying Lube to your body

This method of applying lube, while fairly common, is not the most efficient way to lubricate.

The reason being is that it is fairly difficult to get the proper lubrication inside your body.

In part because you can’t see what you are lubricating.

All you have to go off of is by inserting your lubed fingers and applying the lube as best as you can.

Only being able to tell if you’ve applied lube everywhere based on your sense of touch.

Which in this case is a lot less reliable than your sense of sight.

Even with the advent of the sex lube applicator (which shoots lube into your vagina or anus directly), this dilemna still exists.

Close of up blue sex lube applicator extracting sex lube from bottle
Sex lube applicators make application of lube into your body very easy, but still leaves you wondering whether you've covered everything with enough lubrication.

As a result, if you are not able to successfully lube all of your vaginal walls entirely, the sex toy may be fairly uncomfortable to start, as the unlubricated sex toy comes into contact with unlubricated regions of your vaginal walls.

(The same applies to anal toys, although it is much easier to fully lubricate everything since the anal cavity is so tight and compact).

The only instance in which we’d recommend lubrication this way is if in conjunction with direct lubrication of your sex toys.

Especially for women who like to use a lot of lube, as this helps get more lube in place for penetration.

(There is only so much lube you can apply to a sex toy without it dripping off!).

Otherwise, the best way to lubricate is to your sex toys directly.

Lube for anal play vs. vaginal play

The exact amount of lube you use will often be very different depending on whether you intend to use your sex toy in your anal cavity or in your vagina.

Generally speaking, anal penetration will require a lot more lube than vaginal penetration.

The reason being is that your anus does not naturally lubricate itself like your vagina does.

Plus, the anal cavity is a lot tighter, lending itself to more friction and a greater need for lubrication as well

When using sex toys with the intention of vaginal penetration, the amount of lube should typically be much more modest.

Since your vagina will eventually lube itself naturally as you really start getting off.

The anus on the other hand needs all the external lubrication it can get!

Note that these are just typical examples, and the exact amount of lube you apply will also vary depending on other factors as well (more on that below).

Always keep in mind the sex toy and application

This is a good general tip to keep in mind before you start applying lube.

The amount of lube you use should be directly related to not just the sex toy’s intended application, but also how vigorous the penetration you intend to receive is.

For example, if you are planning to go all out with a large dildo or vibrator, with extremely fast and deep penetrations, this is the perfect time to apply lube generously.

On the other hand, using something like a butt plug, where lube is only really necessary for the initial insertion and the end removal, lube should be used sparingly.

Always keep in mind not only what sex toy you are using, but how you are planning to use it.

Lubricate with Your Pleasure in mind

As one final tip, never forget that the purpose of lube is to make your sex toy experience much pleasurable.

Every woman is different, and responds to their sex toys differently, so there is truly no wrong answer to how you are applying your lube.

So if feel the need to be extra generous with your lube application, go for it!

And if you don’t even need lube to get yourself off with your sex toys, don’t feel like you have to use it.

In short, do what gives you the most pleasure.

Lube can be your best friend in the world of sex toys

Regardless of how well you lubricate naturally, adding manual lube will only help to increase your pleasure levels.

This is especially true when talking about sex toys, which often leave you without any natural lubrication and without the time or means to lubricate yourself otherwise.

While lube is admittedly not a necessity for every woman who uses sex toys, it can be a big help to those who truly need it.

Close up of woman dispensing sex lube into her hands
Lube can really take your sexual pleasure to new heights!

And even if you don’t need it, you can’t go wrong with adding extra lubrication while you penetrate yourself.

So embrace the concept of using lube and if you so desire, learn to integrate it into your sex life.

Especially when using your sex toys.

Follow our tips and tricks above, and you’ll be well on your way to maximizing your sexual satisfaction with the help of lube.